Darth Masq, Sith Lord of Philosophy (masqthephlsphr) wrote,
Darth Masq, Sith Lord of Philosophy

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That's me, officially hitting The Wall. The Wall of six plus months solid of work with only a couple three-day weekends, two plus months solid of taking care of my mom while she was in the hospital, rehab facility, and now in home healthcare, who-the-hell-knows how many years months solid of banging on a novel whose plot and World still continue to elude me in many ways and...

well, everything else.

I am sick, and I am tired.

I took one sick day earlier this month to "shake" this off, and then I had to do it again yesterday.

So totally, totally should have scheduled a real vacation earlier than I did. Of course, my idea of a "real" vacation is a two-week long staycation with a recliner and Netflix and a computer on my lap, still banging on that novel. I don't know how to take a break from it. I keep going back to it, whether the work I do on it is productive or not. I know it's my control freak tendencies. Which I get from my mother. And if I didn't know this before, I do now. She has been cut off from the usual avenues of daily life of late, and so she keeps needling me to take care of all the things she can't control--my elder nephew, a late bill that somehow didn't get paid, people she needs to contact, etc, etc.

And my vacation, when it comes, doesn't promise to be any sort of break from responsibility. There are trains to catch and tours to get to and most of that is left up to the Sculptor and me instead of a tour company. I think I have every detail worked out, 'cause that's what I do.

But right now? Stop the world, I want to get off for a bit.
Tags: family, personal, work, writing
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