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A study in sentences

Alie tucked in her chin and busied herself taking in the wall.

Alie tucked in her chin and turned her attention back to the wall.

Alie tucked in her chin and let her eyes roam the wall.

Alie tucked in her chin and forced her eyes to scan the wall.

Alie tucked in her chin and busied herself taking in the heavily tagged stone wall.

Alie tucked in her chin and turned her attention back to the heavily tagged stone wall.

Alie tucked in her chin and turned her gaze back to the heavily tagged stone wall.



I only counted one of these sentences towards my daily total since they ALL SUCK.


7537 / 15000 words. 50% done!

Comments

masqthephlsphr
Apr. 13th, 2013 03:22 pm (UTC)
Well, this is the second draft. I want to do better. This was me trying to make the first version sentence sound better. In this situation, someone just told her something she didn't want to hear, and she's trying to distract herself. So these sentences are a bit out of