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Looking at my LJ of late, it seems I don't do a lot of posting anymore except these weekly writing updates. I was just thinking this morning of my old journal, which I kept steadily until about 2001, then only updated occasionally. It was replaced, in my way of thinking, by my LJ in 2003, but the constant updates of back then have petered off, partly because I use Facebook for the one-liners I used to post in here, partly because I get discouraged by the chirping-crickets response to many of my updates, and partly because I haven't felt like doing the kind of self-focused prattle I used LJ and my personal journal for in the past.

I am thinking of getting back in to posting more. I have old books on journaling from many a year ago that I can use for topics to launch a post. I just need to remember I'm doing it for me, not to entertain anybody, and not worry about the crickets.

Anyway, the week's writing started out well--even though I spent Monday primarily painting my bathroom ceiling, when I did take breaks to sit down, I found myself thinking about the story trajectory of a character who is going to be doing most of his activities "off screen" so to speak. He is an apparent enemy who turns out to be more of an ally, and I need to know what he is up to at each point in the story even if I'm not showing him. Actually focusing on his journey through the story got me rethinking that journey quite a bit. So that was cool.

Now, at the end of the week, I'm going through that, "I hate my story, it's boring and not what I want to be writing!" thing. Who knows if I'm just in a mood or if this is an instinct I need to listen to. I find it hard to know the difference anymore.

Not going to stop me working, anyway.


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 27th, 2011 04:50 pm (UTC)
I remember when I first heard of Live Journal, I thought it was the most exhibitionist thing I'd ever heard of. Because at that point, I'd been keeping a private journal for over twenty years, and all I could imagine was putting it up on the internet for all to see = live journal.

But in fact, LJ changed the way I journal so that it's not all navel-gazing self-obsession anymore. I have to frame my entries a little so they make sense to other people and have an interesting angle, like a personal-interest journalism piece. And that's not a bad thing.

But you're right, the end of our fandoms of focus has changed how much we respond to each other.

One of the things we're always bragging about in there is how LJ has allowed all the old ATPo board folks to get to know each other personally in a way the board never did, but in truth, I think talking mutual Buffy was more interesting to us than reading about each other's jobs, families, and daily trivia.

Edited at 2011-02-27 07:57 pm (UTC)
Feb. 27th, 2011 01:10 am (UTC)
because I get discouraged by the chirping-crickets response to many of my updates

I hear ya on that. Let's make a deal. I'll comment if you comment. :)
Feb. 27th, 2011 05:05 pm (UTC)
Truth be told, F, sometimes I have *no* idea what to say to some of your posts, because they are so like me--many years ago. I read them and I just want to "run away! run away!" so I don't have to be reminded.

A few times, I've thought of things I *could* say, but as I recall, most advice I got in those days sounded condescending and was not particularly useful. Let's just say life got better in certain ways, which improved my attitude in those regards.

But I am sometimes as guilty as my own LJ pals in not responding to posts. I think sometimes people will just somehow "know" we've read something just because we read it, even if we don't respond.

So I will certainly comment more, but reserve the right to protect my aging psyche from ghosts of the past speaking out of the mouths (fingers?) of my friends.

Feb. 28th, 2011 01:30 am (UTC)
Um, yikes. I'll just filter you out of those posts from now on.
Feb. 28th, 2011 01:33 am (UTC)
That's not necessary. And do you actually know which ones I mean, anyway?

You are you, I don't expect to be someone else because I'm more comfortable with that.
Feb. 28th, 2011 01:49 am (UTC)
I figure I can make a pretty good guess.

It's just that every time I make a post now about the subjects I think you're talking about, I'm going to feel uncomfortable if I think you're reading it.
Feb. 28th, 2011 02:16 am (UTC)
If you feel more comfortable filtering me out, than do. But don't filter me out completely!
Mar. 1st, 2011 02:27 am (UTC)
It's just, the whole thing makes me feel really bad because I feel like I'm bad for having the problems that I have. Like people think I could solve them so easily and am just not, on purpose. Which is really not true. I just haven't figured out a good way to solve them yet, and even if other people have found things that work for them, I haven't found what works for me yet. But I'm still trying to figure it all out, and talking about it is a way I do that and help cope. But comments threads like this make me feel like it's socially unacceptable to have the problems that I have, and that just sucks.
Mar. 1st, 2011 02:37 am (UTC)
Good lord, no. That's not what I meant to imply, and my reluctance to share "words of wisdom" with you from my own experience is meant to express my belief that I won't claim what worked for me can work for you and there isn't some pat solution that I can just offer up on a silver platter. I think talking them through in a social forum like you are doing is good. It's just for me, a little too close to home. My reaction is about me, not any judgment on you.
Mar. 1st, 2011 02:39 am (UTC)
Okay. I'm a bit sensitive on this subject, obviously.
Mar. 1st, 2011 02:40 am (UTC)
Feb. 27th, 2011 05:05 am (UTC)
I miss the days when everyone was so present here. It's kind of like the shiny has gone off of LJ, and everyone's drifted away to some extent. I don't do Facebook much, it just doesn't work for me. I'd be very pleased to see you posting more..I promise I'll comment!
BTW, I get the feeling that there won't be an AtPO gathering this year.
Feb. 27th, 2011 05:17 pm (UTC)
You do get the cross-posts from Dreamwidth, don't you? There might be a few folks who don't cross-post that I set up feeds for so I don't have to read in two places. It feels to me like their are still plenty of ATPoer's posting, whether in LJ or DW. The issue for me is if we are interested in the things each other has to saw without B&A as a common language.

I also feel our circle has expanded somewhat due to LJ/DW, so that many folks we have in common on our flists are not old board people. That pleases me.

I use Facebook for one-liners 'cause that's about all it's good for. I feel more comfortable in an LJ-type forum. I guess I want to start using it the way I used a journal in the pre-internet days, but with 50% less self-absorbed myopia. ; )

I get that feeling about the Gathering as well. The key element in it has always been a tiara-wearer, and no one stepped up this year. Hmmm... that gives me five vacation days I will have to find some other use for.....

Feb. 28th, 2011 04:36 am (UTC)
I do get the crossposts. I have a DW account, but don't post there as a rule.
My flist has become a fairly equal mix of ATPO-ers and others; a good thing, I think.
Mar. 1st, 2011 02:43 pm (UTC)
I tied my Facebook friends page into my LJ feed so i can read my friends' Facebook status updates on my LJ friends page. Between LJ, DW, and FB all coming in on my LJ, I can keep up with the scattered nature of my friends without moving my lazy butt out of LJ. And a plus, it's only the FB status, not the links and the games and all the silly stuff I don't care about.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )