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My dad is doing better. Still confused and with memory lapses that come and go, but alert and interactive, and actually wanting to be active, even though he is confined for his safety to his bed for now. He's still got that inoperable aneurysm and without a neurosurgeon's permission, we allowed the hospice nurse to remove his neck brace. He's had that thing on longer than they originally envisioned, but the hospital he was at last week wouldn't remove it without a neurosurgeon's OK (he fractured a bone in his neck in March), and they didn't have a neurosurgeon on staff. Dad still needs to go visit one, just to be sure. The hospital stay did get the drugs out of his system and cleared his kidney infection up, but it was touch-and-go there for a while, because the infection swelled up his throat, and he couldn't swallow. Nor could they get the nasal feeding tube down. We were worried for a while he wouldn't be able to get nutrition at all, because the IV method of giving nutrition must be carefully monitored and the hospice care we wanted to put him under won't do "drastic measures" like that. But with my sister's help, my father was able to pass his swallow test and go back on regular food. My sister's gone home, my brother and his family are staying another week. My brother is helping my mom go through all my dad's old files and memorabilia, trying to figure out what to keep and what to pitch. We're all exhausted, emotionally and physically, but I had enough energy back late this week to complete the staining and finishing of my library nook shelves, so they have books on them now. Piccies whenever the carpenter completes the cabinet doors and crown molding. Tags: carmen, family, home
Current Location: library nook
mood:  mellow
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Just another post to let everyone know I'm doing O.K. I'm still blocking comments on my family updates because the kind of comments I would expect to get--sympathy, shared stories of similar situations, advice--all of that would break the cracks in my vulnerability at the moment, and falling apart is a luxury I'll have to save for later. What I need now is a pleasant social distraction. A meme, a game, a discussion of trivial fandomness, cat antics, or home reno adventures. Whatever you've got! Speaking of home reno, the install that was done on Thursday wasn't finished. Apparently, one of the cabinets that was special-ordered doesn't fit the space properly. The cabinet company guys came over Friday morning before I went to work to mull over the options, and decided finally only a new cabinet would fix things. So that's on order, and in the meantime, I had new cabinets with no shelves or counter tops, and many still detached from the walls, and the appliances were unhooked from the electricity and plumbing, and I had no sink. In short, a totally unusable kitchen. So I made an appointment for Monday to get the appliances hooked back up and my old sink put back in with a temporary plywood base. And then I had to stay home for this yesterday, because my family was needed elsewhere. So anyway, distractions! What have you got? Congel meta? Cat juggling? Chocolate? Canadians? ETA: Oh, here's a topic. I need a summer wardrobe. A *work appropriate* summer wardrobe. Which means something other than t-shirts, but also, something that will stand up to the arctic air conditioning while also not *killing me* when I step outside. I have very few shirts that will fill that bill. Clothes shopping will have to go on the agenda. And we all know what zany antics *that* leads to in Masq-land! mood:  busy
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Another long, exhausting day at the hospital. I won't go too heavily into details, as tomorrow they might all fly out the window, but after a lot of sitting around at my dad's bedside waiting to talk to the doctor and the social worker, we have a plan and a fall-back plan for my dad, and a goal in mind for after we know which plan it will be. The family is still of one mind about his care, which is amazing given the implosion that happened two years ago between my mother and sister, but I do have to say, only my father's vulnerability could have been the cause of this family unity. Because he's the only neutral party in my immediate family. And he's the only neutral party because he's the innocent. This is so hard to explain to outsiders. Because of a combination of dad's personality and his failing memory in the past few years, not only was he outside the feud between my mother and sister, no one assumed he had taken sides in it, either. And you kind of have to know a history of my family dynamic. My dad was the good breadwinner back in the day, but he was the junior college drop-out retail clerk in a family of advanced degrees, he was the quiet, retiring one in a family of aggressively opinionated control-freaks. So when he's the one in trouble, everyone rushes to his aid like the little proverbial old lady who drops her groceries on the sidewalk. And maybe it will go back to business as usual in the family after the crisis has passed, but today I sat in the 4th floor hospital lobby having a civil, even friendly conversation with my sister and brother and if you'd told me that could happen a month ago, I wouldn't have believed you. Dad is so fragile, so confused, but alert, and with his wry little personality in tact. And all of this is good enough for now. Although a quiet hug would not be amiss. Tags: family
mood:  grateful
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My mother hates Mother's Day. She thought she was a lousy mother long before my sister turned into a petulant brat and stopped talking to the rest of us. Mom always skips church on Mother's Day Sunday, because the sappy sermons going on about how mothers are the next closest thing to Our Good Lord just make her feel worse. The truth is, she's got her flaws like any human being, but she really underestimates herself in this regard. And I have tried to tell her that before, but she inevitably weighs that against what she perceives as her failings, and just continues to dislike Mother's Day. I am going to take her out to breakfast tomorrow morning, and then we're all going to take my SIL out for dinner when they get here. But trust me, Mom will make that event all about my SIL and not about her. In a very strange turn of events, my mom will have all her children in town for Mother's Day this year, for the first time since...we were kids, really. I wish the circumstances were better. Happy Mom's Day to all the moms on my flist!Tags: family
mood:  contemplative
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I am working from home today. I went to work bright and early as requested by the PTBs, and left my poor mother at my house to wait for the kitchen cabinet installer, as had been our plan for weeks. Maybe I should have canceled the whole install, given the circumstances, but it's so hard to get things scheduled to begin with, and one task (fixing drywall from tear-down) must proceed the next (installing cabinets) must proceed the next (measuring for countertops) or the whole schedule falls apart, and I will have to live without a kitchen for the next...foreseeable future. The install guy was supposed to show between 7 am and 9 am. I went to work at 7:40. My mom waited until 10:30, then called me and told me she had to go--if he wasn't going to show up, her time was better spent at the hospital. I told her to go. I had been on the phone with the expediter and her colleagues all morning trying to get answers. I called the expediter and canceled the install. Then I hung up and was about to call the counter top folks to cancel the measure tomorrow when the cabinet installer guy calls me. For directions! (turns out his paperwork said to be there from 9 to 11). I just went ahead and gave them to him and headed home. This is a bad time at work not to be at work, but I have been able to get some stuff done here at home unlike my previous attempts. I told my supervisor I might have to leave because of my dad, and that's still indirectly the case. My mom should not have been sitting around my house all day. Still. I feel guilty and a little selfish. Bad timing, that's all it is. Back to work. tdwc: 10271Tags: carmen, family, home, work
mood:  guilty
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I think some of you do, too. There is so much bad news on my flist (some of which is mine), and understandable anger about other people's fuck-twittedness, it's getting me down. So this LJ entry is for good stuff. Good news in your life you want to share, hugs, kisses sent out to whomever you want to send them out to, funny jokes you heard, general silliness, or a nice round of drinks with those little umbrellas in them. Care to join me? My good news is: the library bookshelves are almost done. All that's left are the cabinet doors, and doing the finish on the new shelves. They are fully installed and the molding was put on last night. ETA: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45h9uCDpGh0 (thanks, ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) spiletta42!) mood:  hopeful
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recede 
chipper
excited
pleased
amused
recumbent
doctoral vibes
accomplished
worried